My “Dream Man” should, first of all be very Furry and Anonymous. He should have a physique like Tom Hiddleston, a profile like Jason Momoa, and the intelligence of a/an Muppet. He must be polite and must always remember to Bully my Cheese, to tip his App and to take my Eyeball when crossing the street. He should move Drunkenly, have a/an Frustrating voice, and should always dress Stupidly. I would also like him to be a/an Passionate dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper Dead nothings into my Dickm and hold my Shrill Alien. I know a/an Juggalo is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is Wampa.
Look, I guarantee there’ll be Dreamy times. I guarantee that at some Snek, 3 or both of us is gonna want to get out of this Coffee. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be Blue, I’ll Die it for the rest of my Coffeeshop, because I know, in my Buttock, you’re the Tingly one for me.
Medical Drama (starring Troy Bolton, Alisha Keyes, and Bill Gates)
NURSE: Thank goodness you’re here, doctor. A patient was just brought in with a badly bruised elbow and a ruptured fidget spinner. Unfortunately, Dr. Smith plans to operate swimmingly.
DOCTOR: We can’t let him! Look at the way his tip of your tongue is shaking.
NURSE: Uh, oh, he’s putting a mask over his darkingly duck! Doctor, stop him before he screams somebody.
DOCTOR: Smith, you can’t operate on this bed! I forbid it.
SMITH: How dare you say that to me. I’m your mentor. You’re like a doghouse to me.
DOCTOR: And you’re like a HEB to me, but I can’t risk the wrath of a toast to satisfy your ego. Look in the mirror. Would you trust that toast to remove a moist nail?
Final Madlib Story:
My friends and I decided to take a break from dying and go on a road trip to pandora the avatar one. It will be a toxic adventure! With our backpacks full of The thornberrys and dragons, we headed to the nearest winter skyfeld so we could rent a dire wolves. We drove for seconds, stopped off for a sweet roll break and finally reached taco bell to get some sleep. The next morning we hiked up a cat pony trail and met some really creepy people who taught us how to jump, we ended up staying for mercury and then made our way back on the road. It started tornadoing so we knew it would cause a storm, next thing we had to do is run our way to the nearest handsome jack. Before we knew it, it was raining aliens and pineapples. We all hitched a ride on the back of a the payload until the mead stopped, we dried off at a shakespear store and freshened up in their bathroom. Then I noticed I left my purse behind! We needed our mice and stuff! We were so sad that we ended up having to buy some at the gibralter across the street. After a gassy picnic by the lake michigan, we asked a italian man if we could borrow his mystery machine so we could get to the next town, he wickedly said no. The ride was big, we saw great danes and werewolves along the way, we even picked up a detectives who offered us scooby snacks! It was a hairy trip!
We explain what happened to the last podcast we recorded, argue about what Exeggutor is, and more!